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2002wranglerX
08-28-2008, 10:32 AM
Two different versions! Two different morals!
OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well-fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well-fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.' Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share .
Finally, President Obama approves the EEOC draft from the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed, when he was in office, from a list o f single-parent welfare recipients.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house , now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2008!

OverkillZJ
08-28-2008, 10:41 AM
Awesome.

trailblaze
08-28-2008, 12:12 PM
wow.... haha

techno
08-28-2008, 01:33 PM
Totally unrealistic.

The ant would have got his AR15 and blown the dumbass whinning lazy grasshopper away long before it got out of hand....

SirFuego
08-28-2008, 02:48 PM
Thank God I'm not a grasshopper or an ant...

OverkillZJ
08-28-2008, 02:59 PM
The ant would have got his AR15 and blown the dumbass whinning lazy grasshopper away long before it got out of hand....

If that happened more often, the story wouldn't even need to be posted :overkill:

OverkillZJ
08-28-2008, 03:00 PM
Thank God I'm not a grasshopper or an ant...

You're an ant, you work for a living and don't need handouts.

SirFuego
08-28-2008, 03:12 PM
You're an ant, you work for a living and don't need handouts.
That's what you think. It's all a facade :116:

As an aside my quote was meant to be taken literally. All of this disagreement between ants and grasshoppers makes me glad that I'm a human and can stomp on them when they get outta hand.

techno
08-28-2008, 03:45 PM
http://www.monsterlandtoys.com/video/Empire%20of%20The%20Ants.jpg

OverkillZJ
08-28-2008, 03:47 PM
LMFAO, that's great.