Steelers to lose three Super Bowl Trophies!!

[SirFuego]

Oh-oh...


March 32, 2009

Steelers to Lose Super Bowl Trophies
Pittsburgh, PA.

The Super Bowl XLIII Champion Pittsburgh Steelers, the only team to win six titles, will soon be losing half of those trophies. After a meeting between NFL commissioner Rodger Gadel and President Barack Hussain Obama, Obama decided to redistribute half of their Steeler Super Bowl victories and trophies to less fortunate teams in the league.

“We live everyday in the country that invented the Super Bowl.” said Obama “We are not about to lose this Great American tradition in the wake of these difficult times.” Obama’s plan calls for the Steelers, who are a successful NFL team, to give half of their Super Bowl trophies to teams that are not successful or have not been as successful as the Steelers. “The Detroit Loins are just as much a part of the same fiber of the NFL as the Steelers and they should, no rather will, be entitled to a Super Bowl Trophy as well.” Obama explains in his plan that he has imposed on Godel and the NFL.

The Pittsburgh Steelers, who by virtue of hard work, excellent team play, stellar draft choices, responsible investing of free agents, careful hiring of coaches and excellent community service and commitment to their fans, has prospered greatly during the past 30 years and have won six Super Bowl Trophies. But President Barack Hussain Obama’s plan calls for the Pittsburgh Steelers to carry the larger burden of the NFL’s less successful teams. Obama went on to further proclaim, “In these difficult times we are all in this to work together. We must reclaim the NFL Championship Dream for every team, for every city and for every fan.”

“My plan will not affect 31 of the 32 teams in the league.” Obama assures. That’s over 95 percent of the teams in the NFL will not have to worry about loosing any Super Bowl Trophies. “The worst teams in the NFL and the teams that can’t seem to get a break and win a championship will no longer have to worry about going without a title.” Obama promises. “We are a country and league of hope. We all need to make a change. It does not matter the color of the teams uniforms, the personal decisions that the teams make or their performance but rather if they are a member of this great American league.”

The Super Bowl XLIII trophy will be redistributed to the 0-16 Detroit Lions. Through no fault of their own incompetence, the Lions could not manage a victory all season and this trophy will help ease the pain of their lack of performance and give them hope once again. The redistribution of Super Bowl XL trophy will go directly to the Steeler’s division rival the Cincinnati Bengals. The Bengals who also have fallen on hard times have never won a Super Bowl. This victory will bring a smile to hundreds of Bengal fans all over the world as they can now celebrate. Finally, one of the Steeler’s two Super Bowl victories over the Dallas Cowboys will go back to the Cowboys since the league needs to provide hope in the face of difficulty and provide hope in the face of uncertainty. This is a heavy burden for the Steelers but together we can all prosper.

All hope is not lost for Pittsburgh fans, Barack Hussain Obama has another plan in place. Obama has meet with MLB and commissioner Bud Selig on a similar plan. The New York Yankees will redistribute two of their world series trophies to the Pittsburgh Pirates as a supplement to their loosing 16 straight seasons and counting. This plan will help stimulate the Pirates and enable them to regain the American Dream. Barack Hussain Obama will be meeting with the NHL and Michael Phelps in the upcoming weeks as this issue is high on his agenda for “Hope and Change.”

[Leady]

you must be a republican

[jackb1]

you must be a republican

I am... Loved that.

[78CRUSHER]

I dont think it makes him sound like a republican,
It just sounds like he has a good grasp of what socialism is.

[Alley]

I think it was just funny.... no matter what political party it was funny!

[LordAthens]

Did anyone else read that and actually imagine Barack's voice speaking it?

[notmYJ]

I tried to but every time I did, I punched my screen in a fit of disgust. See avatar for clarification...

[OverkillZJ]

you must be a republican


I'm not, and I still loved it.

It's simple: distributing something earned by someone else is socialism. Socialism always fails.

You eventually run out of other peoples money.

[PatF10]

good one

[Deadman 94 xj]

Very nice. Sad but funny.

Here's one I found:

MEDICAL BREAKTHROUGH!

A French doctor says 'Medicine in my country is so
advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in
another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.'

A German doctor says 'That is nothing; we can take a
lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking
for work in four weeks.

The Russian doctor says 'In my country, medicine is so
advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in
another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.'

An American doctor, not to be outdone, says 'You guys are
way behind. We recently took a man with no brains out of
Illinois, put him in the White House, and now half the country is
looking for work.'

[Leady]

I understand the joke, I wasn't being bitter that was my try at humor I guess. But of all things, the Steelers. If someone was gonna joke about the Pirates losing years being distributed to good teams to make it fair I would probably be ok with it because those bucco's haven't done shit in 16 years.

[SirFuego]

If someone was gonna joke about the Pirates losing years being distributed to good teams to make it fair I would probably be ok with it because those bucco's haven't done shit in 16 years.
The Pirates are getting two world series trophies under this plan. So in essence, their losing seasons are going to the Yankees.

[OverkillZJ]

^ Nice.

[Jimbo]

I'm not, and I still loved it.

It's simple: distributing something earned by someone else is socialism. Socialism always fails.

You eventually run out of other peoples money.

Distributing something earned by someone else isn't socialism, it's taxation. Socialism is an economic theory.

ALL forms of government are socialist to some degree. Most European democracies are far more socialist than ours and have been for a long, long time, but somehow they seem to have survived quite nicely. They have, however, paid for their socialist tendencies by having a higher standard of living, longer life expectancy, and a lower infant mortality rate than we do.

[notmYJ]

Distributing something earned by someone else isn't socialism, it's taxation. Socialism is an economic theory.

ALL forms of government are socialist to some degree. Most European democracies are far more socialist than ours and have been for a long, long time, but somehow they seem to have survived quite nicely. They have, however, paid for their socialist tendencies by having a higher standard of living, longer life expectancy, and a lower infant mortality rate than we do.

Don't forget to add, they also rising violent crime rates, ownership of firearms is banned, more preventable cancer deaths than the US (plus it was in a European newspaper that the gov is banning a cancer treatment drug because it is too expensive), waiting lists to get on waiting lists to see doctors or get surgery, outrageous fuel prices, high taxation, and general government intrusion into nearly every aspect of private life.

The government should be afraid of us, the citizens. Unlike those other countries, we have a thing called the constitution cause we didn't want to be part of "them". If some people think Europe and Canada are so good, move there and quit F-in up my country. I pull my own weight. I go to work to pay for my healthcare, to take care of my son, and pay for the things I have and want. I don't want to go to work so some worthless baby making machine or lazy, no good grade school drop out can sit in a new apartment and watch cable tv on my dime. These are the people that are bringing down america. Not the guy who is busting his ass at work for 80hrs a week making $250k+ a year to cover his house, car, and kids college. He is putting more back into the economy in one year than most welfare recipients will in a life time.

I don't want the government in my life, controlling my healthcare decisions, what items I can own and can't, where I can I live, and how much I can make. And that goes for the liars, oops, I mean "politicians" on both sides of the isle.

If you ask me, its time to flush the government, get these lifetime politicians out, and start over. There is too much corruption, back door politics, palm greasing and back scratching. One is more full of shit than the next, they all have their own personal adgendas and don't give a damn what we the people want. Its all about the money and the next election. These "people" (and I use that term loosely) make sick. All of them. /rant off

[Bird_Flu]

I don't want the government in my life, controlling my healthcare decisions, what items I can own and can't, where I can I live, and how much I can make. And that goes for the liars, oops, I mean "politicians" on both sides of the isle.

If you ask me, its time to flush the government, get these lifetime politicians out, and start over. There is too much corruption, back door politics, palm greasing and back scratching. One is more full of shit than the next, they all have their own personal adgendas and don't give a damn what we the people want. Its all about the money and the next election. These "people" (and I use that term loosely) make sick. All of them. /rant off

Well said, Term limits FTW!! Although you need to take it a step further and get rid of a lot of the lobbyists, most of which are ex-congressmen.

[Ragnorox]

you must be a republican

You must be a Socialist

[BAD_GNR]

That's a good one, comrade.

[highlandercj-7]

AND You must be one of the idiots that voted for him.

[LordAthens]

LMAO.

I love how a simple joke on our boards gets turned into a heated political debate within the very first post. I love it.

[OverkillZJ]

Distributing something earned by someone else isn't socialism, it's taxation. Socialism is an economic theory.

ALL forms of government are socialist to some degree. Most European democracies are far more socialist than ours and have been for a long, long time, but somehow they seem to have survived quite nicely. They have, however, paid for their socialist tendencies by having a higher standard of living, longer life expectancy, and a lower infant mortality rate than we do.

Taxing in order to build roads we all use is one thing, continual and increasing taxation on my WAGES to give money to people who DO NOT WORK is more than an economic theory, it's economic suicide.

[Leady]

I'm just unhappy about thinking the Steelers would ever be a part of such a sham, and welfare. At least Welfare will only support 2 kids, but it's still a crock. Why not give birth control to welfrite's? The Steelers at least are safe from any type of equal distribution of superbowl titles, it'd be funnier if it wasn't them as the main focus of the joke.

I notice how any political discussion gets outta hand here, everyone must feel strongly about thier views.

I think it's better to choose the lesser of two evil's when voting.

[LordAthens]

I was bitching about the government last night at the haunted house, apparently one of the girls that volunteers there is on welfare as is her mother that she lives with. Mind you, she works (AFAIK, full time) at a local gas station and she's purposely trying to fail out of college.

Apparently, when you turn 20 on welfare, you lose your health insurance. She's pissed about this. I'm at a loss for words. You work and go to school and you're on welfare and you're pissed that you're losing your insurance? WTF right do you have to be on welfare in the first place? According to the signage posted at Get Go, they're HIRING at 9 and some change an hour. I was able to get by on 9 and change an hour when I was younger, why the fawk can't you? The icing on the cake is the state is paying for her schooling that she is purposefully trying to fail out of. She tried explaining to me why she wanted to fail out, I stopped listening.

Now granted, I'm not working and I'm collecting unemployment, which I actually feel guilty about doing, but so be it. I've paid my taxes for the last 10 years, I guess I'm entitled to something. SSI sure as hell won't be around when I'm ready to retire.

I'd like to see everything privatized and put a flat rate tax on everything. Leave it up to me to do what I want with my money. Didn't start saving for a retirement fund earlier enough? Tough shit. Maybe people will become smarter with their money and less reliant upon the government.

[Jimbo]

Taxing in order to build roads we all use is one thing, continual and increasing taxation on my WAGES to give money to people who DO NOT WORK is more than an economic theory, it's economic suicide.

Letting people abuse the welfare system at your expense isn't a tenet of socialism. No one likes the idea of welfare, but no one has come up with a better solution yet. Letting people starve in the streets doesn't count as a solution. And the amount of money spent on it isn't that much compared to what we're spending on corporate bailouts, which is really just welfare for people with nice suits.

Economic suicide would be derugulating the banking and insurance industries to the point that even a small decline in housing prices would cause the whole system to collapse. Oh wait, we did that already.

[OverkillZJ]

You want more regulation?

Seriously?

What the **** rock have you been hiding under to not see that too much government "regulation" caused this mess in the first place!

[OverkillZJ]

Letting people abuse the welfare system at your expense isn't a tenet of socialism.


And since when, considering it's been happening since before I've been around.

Socialist bastards.

:popcorn:

[OverkillZJ]

And now moving to Political Asylum for obvious reasons :)

[Deadman 94 xj]

I gave up politics for lent :003:


No radio, tv, nothing. Ignorance is bliss!

[Leady]

I gave up politics for lent :003:


No radio, tv, nothing. Ignorance is bliss!

That was a good choice.



I think they should employ all the people on Welfare instead of paying them to not work, if thats possible. It'd be a better plan if they set it up so if you were getting money because you're poor, then work for it.


Some people can't afford their kids and shit, I don't frown on misfortune but there are too many loopholes that allow people to get paid for being lazy.

[OverkillZJ]

^Very well said.

Helping people get back on their feet is a good thing, but there are many that have grown accustomed to doing nothing and getting "paid" for it - that hurts everybody.

[limegreentj]

i agree with matt 100%


and also, anyone who would vote for a man whose middle name is hussain after 9/11. is out of their mind. Thats not the only reason i didnt vote for him...there are many many many more, but come on barak hussain obama?

[LordAthens]

Letting people starve in the streets doesn't count as a solution. .

Why the hell not? Maybe the lazy mother fawkers will close their legs, keep their dick in their pants, stop popping out kids and get a ****ing job.

Otherwise, they're free to visit whatever non-government funded shelter of their choice and hang out there. If they choose to still be lazy,kick'em out and let them fend for themselves, I look at it as cleaning up the gene pool.

I've had a job since I was 16. Today alone I counted at least a dozen signs between Baldwin and Russellton of companies hiring and I'm talking basic stuff here, Get Go, landscape nursery, dry cleaners. It's not rocket science, people are fawking lazy and would rather take advantage of the government because the government lets them. It's our own faults for electing these toolbags into office.

[Leady]

Free loaders are a pain in the ass. Anyone that wants, asks, or expects something for no good reason without intention of paying it back or earning it qualifies as a free loader.

There are so many people that just don't give a shit about anything too, which I guess you could count a lot of people on welfare if its possible for them to work, why not do it?

And I dunno if Barrack is somehow related to Sadam, I doubt that highly but whats in a name? I mean if his name was Joe Smith would it make that much of a difference. Like I said earlier(at least I think I did) I try to pick a canidate that is the lesser of the two evils and seems that they will do a better job with the big issues that effect everyone. I don't think much about politics, I don't really like them and only hope things will someday become more ideal. But I try to express my views sometimes.

[limegreentj]

if his name was joe smith...at least that sounds more american than barrack hussain obama, im not saying he's related...but no one really knows what he is, one thing i do know is that his wife said after he was runing that "she is finally proud of america"

[SirFuego]

The Steelers at least are safe from any type of equal distribution of superbowl titles, it'd be funnier if it wasn't them as the main focus of the joke.
So you are telling me that you don't like the joke because it focuses (and actually praises) the Steelers? Not because it's an exaggeration of the political views of the current administration? So if this was about redistributing Tiger Woods' major championships, you'd be happier? Seriously?


I think they should employ all the people on Welfare instead of paying them to not work, if thats possible. It'd be a better plan if they set it up so if you were getting money because you're poor, then work for it.
Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, he eats for life. Workfare. That's all I ask of the welfare system.


Some people can't afford their kids and shit, I don't frown on misfortune but there are too many loopholes that allow people to get paid for being lazy.
People on welfare should need to report to a financial advisor. The advisor should be given the right to reduce or remove welfare benefits if they feel it is not needed or the benefits are being abused. It is essentially the gov't's money they are spending, so as far as I'm concerned, the gov't has a right to monitor the spending of welfare recipients.


and also, anyone who would vote for a man whose middle name is hussain after 9/11. is out of their mind. Thats not the only reason i didnt vote for him...there are many many many more, but come on barak hussain obama?
Seriously?....Seriously? So if a guy named Jared (not me) went postal this year and bombed a building that killed thousands of people in a major city and I decided to run for president a couple years from now -- anyone that votes for me would be out of their mind? Seriously? People don't pick their names.

FYI: Hussein means "good" or "beautiful". By the way, Saddam Hussein didn't go into power until 1979. He didn't even do anything noteworthy until 1968, when his party took over control of Iraq. Somehow I don't think there were any terrorist ties when his mother named Obama back in 1961...

EDIT: Someone remind me on Monday to purchase stock in tinfoil companies...

[Leady]

So you are telling me that you don't like the joke because it focuses (and actually praises) the Steelers? Not because it's an exaggeration of the political views of the current administration? So if this was about redistributing Tiger Woods' major championships, you'd be happier? Seriously?


Yeah pretty much as silly as that sounds.